Have you ever found yourself having an emotional attachment to clothing items? Like a serious, hurts to think about not having this item, kind of attachment? I had that "breakdown" last night and boy does it suck!
My mom and Scott have been urging me to go through the girls' out grown clothes to see what I wanted to sell. I've always had a hard time getting rid of things, it takes me till I get in a mood of wanting to clean out everything to be able to get rid of anything. Yes, I could possibly become a hoarder.
So last night I finally sat down with three huge tubs of clothes, newborn to 3-6 months, and decided to sort. It might have been a mistake starting with newborn because those TINY lil clothes reminded me of my 5lb peanuts and how I never thought they'd be able to wear all the cute clothes I had bought for them that we're 0-3 month sized. See, at 32 weeks the ultrasound tech measured both girls as weighing over 4lbs a piece so I freaked out and returned a bunch of newborn stuff for 0-3 size. Then I had 5lb babies that were really too small for newborn clothes but too long for preemie! I digress...
I could remember them wearing every outfit, every set of pjs, and I lost it. I started crying in the middle of our office and that's where Scott found me and said probably the best thing he could've said to me. He simply said, "Keep it. You don't have to do this, just keep it babe." But I know I don't need it all, and I know I will want new stuff so after reminiscing with Scott I kept sorting.
I pulled out the onesies they wore in the hospital, their initial ones I made them, their going home outfits that were so big on them, the outfits they traveled to Missouri in, the outfits they wore to their first drs appointment, and I could go on... It's hard realizing they are getting bigger, even though I love how we interact now, and how they interact with each other even more. But they aren't my lil peanuts.
So after last night and even more sorting this morning of course the outfit I chose for them to wear holds a special memory for me: I remember being beyond pregnant (anything past 32 weeks with twins is beyond pregnant) and sitting in the waiting room of my drs office when a mom with twin girls about a year old cane in. I had seen her before, never talked to her but always gawked at her and her girls. My mom was with me this time and smiled knowingly at me, like she knew what I was thinking, and we ended up talking to the woman. She of course asked how far along I was and what we were expecting. She perked up when I said "2 girls" and we really started to talk. I remember the matching outfits her girls were wearing, little Carter's sets, and I thought how cute they were. Months later I was pleasantly surprised when my mom brought the same matching sets home. So today I chose those outfits, it only seems fitting that the girls should wear an outfit today that may seem like nothing to everybody else but holds a special memory for me.
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