I wrote this last week in a moment of "I have an opinion and I feel like voicing it!" so I decided to go ahead and post it now. It's ok if nobody cares, I felt compelled to express myself.
Fair warning: I have my soap box out and I am preparing to stand on it and talk in a loud voice. This topic doesn't just hit close to home for me, it has dominated a large portion of my thoughts recently.
I turned on the tv this morning (August 8th, 2013) with the intention of watching the weather to see when the rain will arrive so I could plan a walk with the girls. The Today show popped up (I'm usually GMA girl) but a teaser for an upcoming story about moms who opted out of the work place years ago and that are now trying to re-enter started to play, so I decided that I needed to watch that story.
I won't rehash the entire story but 3 moms were featured that were all very educated, and very successful in their careers when they decided to stay home to raise their children. They were all working again but not at the same position they had been before they "opted out". Matt Lauer asked them a question along the lines of this: "How do you sell yourself to a potential employer when they ask about your years out of the work force versus somebody who has been working the entire time?"
Now, I'm sure Mr. Lauer did not mean that in an offensive way but to mom's who think about this often who have "opted out" I will tell you, that is offensive. Mr. Lauer, I am working every minute of every day, and I work hard. My work here, in my home, is just as important as my work I did as a prosecutor. I am raising smart, caring, inquisitive, and hopefully, respectable young ladies.
Now that doesn't mean that moms who have a full time job aren't working just as hard. No, we all work hard. Being a parent is hard work. But darn you society, stop it, stop putting this on the mothers! Why can't we be educated and take care of our children? Why must every decision women make come under fire? If we work or stay at home, if we breastfeed or use bottles, if we have a nanny (or other form of assistance) or if we do it alone. Why is everything a question? Why is this not questioned with men?
Hear me out here, I don't just blame men for this. Matt Lauer just happened to be the one conducting the interview but women are just as much to blame: Stop questioning one another and be more supportive!
There is no "right" way to raise a family. My mom worked full time so my brother and I went to my grandparents and day care. Are we scarred for life? Nope. Do we have mommy issues? Nope.
I respect my parents for working hard. They taught me to work hard and you can succeed. They taught me perseverance, my mom worked in a male dominated work force and she was tough. My dad is the most honest, dedicated, and genuine role model I could ever ask for. Both of them have taught me so much through them just being them.
As much as I have respected their decision to work full time while raising us I will admit, right now I am a stay at home mom. Maybe it doesn't compute to many but here's the thing: my parents have showed me there is no right way, so my husband and I have made the decision that works for our family. Right now that means I am at home with our girls. That wasn't our plan when I was pregnant but some things changed, mainly we moved right after the girls' birth and I can't practice here in Missouri yet.
Am I using both of my degrees? Nope, but that doesn't mean somebody can take them from me or that I will never use them. It doesn't mean they were a waste of my time or money. As my former mentor/supervisor, Dr. Sonya Armstrong, once told me, "Education is never a waste, nobody can take it from you, you will use it in one way or another because it shapes who you are and how you think."
Recently I have interviewed for a new position. I am still waiting on the company's decision but let me say this: whether or not I get the job I will be fine. If I am lucky enough to be chosen for the position I will know that I will be an example for my girls in how to be a working mom (and based mainly from our home, yay!). But if I don't get the position, I will keep looking for a position that allows me some flexibility to be employed outside of the home. No matter what my first and most important role will be as the mother & wife in my family. My husband and my girls are my first priority.
There is no one or another in my world. I'm not part of the work force OR a mom. No matter what, I am me- an educated mother. Whether I am being paid in dollars or kisses from my family I am still me and nobody can change that.
Stepping off my soap box now...
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