If I were a car I would be a lemon.

Explanation: On the surface everything seems fine and you may not immediately dismiss the possibility of me being fully functioning but upon closer inspection by a trained professional (for the purpose of my analogy it would be a mechanic but for the sake of real life let’s call the professional a fertility doctor), said professional would inform you that I’m not worth it. I’m defective. I’m a lemon.

We decided to do this blog because we want to keep you guys informed of what is going on and that’s slightly difficult considering the magnitude of information, the subject matter, the number of people who care, and sometimes even my unwillingness to discuss the topic with everybody. Sorry, but sometimes repeating the information 1-2 times is all I can handle. Unfortunately not a lot of us have experience with this issue, which in a way we are thankful that others haven’t had to experience this. But unfortunately infertility is a real issue and Scott and I have had to put our big kid panties on and face it. So that is what we are doing: facing it and dealing with the cards God has dealt us.

Being that this is our first post and the audience we have submitted this blog to are on various levels of being informed of our plight, this is going to probably be a long post just to get everybody on the same page. Sorry in advance! Feel free to skip this but prepared to be lost.  Also, I’m going to apologize for anything that may be a little TMI (too much information), considering the subject matter it sometimes happens!

Starting from the beginning…

Like most couples we talked about having kids before we were even married but we knew with me going to law school that we would wait a little while and let me finish school so we didn’t start talking about it seriously until my final year of law school. By our first anniversary the discussions became a little more frequent and a little more serious. Then a series of events occurred in January of 2010- Scott’s Grandpa Schu passed away, our niece Katie was hospitalized, and I missed a doctor’s appointment to get my birth control refilled. Somewhere in there we took it as a sign that we would let life happen and not prevent a pregnancy. It should be noted that while we discussed this “let life happen” approach, that never really happened for me. Of course, you all knowing me probably realize that giving up control on something as major as this wasn’t going to happen. So I began to research the heck out of getting pregnant and all things pregnancy related.

I had a feeling from the beginning that we would have problems and even told Scott this. Unfortunately not only am I an occasional pessimist I must be psychic.

Based on my research I knew that it could take a few months for my body to regulate itself and get things figured out after stopping the pill so I tried not to be worried about not getting pregnant. But after 8/9 months of irregular cycles, no luck, an alarming weight gain (not cool), a need to suddenly see a dermatologist (my complexion and I were at war), a crazy new sweet tooth issue (as Mom noted the other day: I’ve ate desserts and stuff before but it has never been like this where I feel that I have to have something sweet) and overwhelming internet search results that all pointed to a possible issue, I made an appointment with my doctor (Dr. Michael who I will now call Dr. M).  So in September we discussed things and he didn’t seem too worried but he wanted to do some tests. Dr. M assured me that I wasn’t a hypochondriac and that there was something going on. And thus began my recent love/hate (no wait, it’s completely hate based) relationship with blood work.

For those of you who do not know this we of the Sanders family (Mom excluded) are not fans of needles, blood, or any medical type things. There are many stories of people passing out, body blocks being thrown on young children in order to draw blood, and more passing out. I’ve currently figured out a way to distract myself in order to prevent from passing out because based on the frequency of blood work I have been subjected to I would be passing out all the time. Not cool. I digress.

The results came back from my first round of blood work and confirmed what my doctor thought: I wasn’t ovulating.  They tested a bunch of things to determine the cause (such as a thyroid problem and a bunch of other thing) but everything came back clean. So my doctor decided to start me on clomid to hopefully enduce ovulation. For the sake of moving this along, if you want to read more on clomid click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clomifene Yes, it’s Wikipedia. Not really Mayo Clinic type research but basic enough.

To streamline the story I will describe my experience on clomid as this: craptastic. It’s a technical term. For 5 cycles I was on clomid which involved taking the requisite number of pills (which increased each of the 1^st 3 cycles till I reached the max dosage 150 mg/day), going in for an internal sonogram on a specific day and then going in for blood work on another day. Lots of doctor’s visits and lots of side effects- mood swings (sorry Scotty!), a bit of nausea and hot flashes. All were ridiculous. But the worst part was during these 5 cycles we weren’t having any luck. Not only were we not getting pregnant, but the medicine was just not having the desired effect on my body. Every time I would go to the doctor it would be bad news and I was starting to feel like the most pessimistic person ever!

Then this January 2011 on a particularly bad day (bad day based on receiving bad news about a potential source of income for me) we got a phone call from Dr. M. He informed us that continuing clomid was no longer an option (you can only take it so many cycles without the risk of doing damage) and unfortunately we had exhausted all avenues of treatment he was capable of providing us, so he referred us to a fertility specialist. He also informed me that he believed I have a condition called polycystic ovarian syndrome, which I will from now on just refer to as PCOS.  If you want to read more on PCOS click here: http://www.pcosupport.org/

That was a particularly horrible day. For the record, it’s incredibly hard to here that you have to go to a fertility doctor, especially at 26 and in good health (besides that whole “I’m a lemon” thing).  It was hard for Scott to hear too, but he was there for me the best he could be but when he left to play basketball that night I broke down and turned to the 2 best supporters I’ve ever had in my life: Mom and Dad. And because I don’t say it nearly enough, thank you for listening and "talking me down" that night. I have a much better thank you to share with you but I will save it for another post when we express our gratitude.

Back to our journey…

The decision to meet with the fertility specialist wasn’t an easy decision. We didn’t think it was financially responsible considering my state of unemployment at the time. But that was upsetting to me; we had been dealing with this for so long I didn’t want to wait anymore. In my head I figured that we would figure things out and there was no harm in meeting with the doctor. So after many “marital discussions” Scott and I made the appointment.

Our doctor (Dr. Karande, who I will now refer to as Dr. K) came very highly recommended- high fertility rate, widely published, and considered very good.  For his information and to stalk our doctor here’s the link… but please do not call him and check in on our progress! That’d be creepy… http://www.inviafertility.com/

The only issue was that Dr. M warned me about was that Dr. K wasn’t the warmest individual. But I think people get that impression because he’s foreign and sometimes I think there’s a cultural/language barrier there. So far he’s been nothing short of nice and caring towards us!

After some more testing (ultrasounds and dreaded bloodwork) with Dr. K I was officially diagnosed with PCOS and an issue with being insulin resistant.  All of which explain my lack of ovulation, my weight gain, crazy sweet tooth, the acne, and everything else going on. Since my diagnosis I have been put on a drug called Metformin to address the insulin issues.

**Sidenote: I have a feeling metformin will be googled and the possible other implications of the drug will be alarming to family but you should all be aware that thanks to some heads up moves by Mom, Dad, and Aunt Cleo. I am currently looking into further testing to address possible other underlying health concerns.

We have consulted with Dr. K and he explained our 2 “options”- IUI or IVF, based on my diagnosis.

IUI medical explanation: http://www.fertilityplus.org/faq/iui.html

IVF medical explanation: http://www.americanpregnancy.org/infertility/ivf.html

The links are the easiest way to explain the two procedures considering some people are more informed than others.

I use the word “options” loosely here only because we really don’t have an option when we really discuss everything. Dr. K does not recommend IUI for us based on my age and my PCOS diagnosis. Here’s why: with PCOS I make a lot of eggs but they don’t mature to be viable for pregnancy. With IUI they would put me on a drug therapy (shots, shots, and more shots and unfortunately I don’t mean tequila) to make my eggs mature to the needed stage. But because I make so many eggs they would be unable to control how many mature eggs I would release and the possibility of multiples (we’re not talking twins, we are talking the 3+ category) is greatly increased. That would be potentially dangerous for me and the health and development of any potential babies. Plus Scott and I would like a child, or children eventually, not a litter like a dog or Kate Gosselin. 

So our best option is IVF because it is more controlled. They would only implant 2 embryos lessening the possibility of the 3+ multiples (there’s always a chance that those 2 embryos could each split and that would lead to 4… which is scary but much better than 6 or 8 at a time). IVF also has a greater success rate than IUI-- IVF has a success rate of 65% each attempt while IUI is a 25% success rate over 3 cycles (each with their own expensive price tag).  The downside though- IVF is considerably more expensive and far more invasive/stressful on my body. 

All of these factors have been weighed and talked about-- lots of talking, lots of frustration, and lots of praying about what to do.

So here’s where we’re at: I am currently on metformin and the birth control pill (yes, this would seem counterproductive but it serves the purpose of regulating my body so the doctors can control when we start drug therapy and when certain procedures will occur). I am on a plan to slowly increase my metformin over the course of 4 weeks due to the strength of the medicine and some possible side effects it can have (nausea and vomiting for example). We have to schedule an appointment to go over the next step and start discussing when to take that step. But because we started this amazingly entertaining blog you will all be aware of when we take those steps.

Ok, I just threw a TON of information out there and like I said earlier, sorry if any part was TMI. I realize that it’s a lot to take in, believe me; we have struggled at times taking it in. But we have accepted that this is what we are dealing with and our purpose with the blog was to keep our loved ones informed. Feel free to ask questions, make comments, or whatever else! I’m kind of nervous posting this so feedback would be appreciated...

I probably glossed over some major points in this whole thing so I will try to go back later and fill in some gaps that I see at a later date. I have provided you with enough reading material for now!

We love you all and cannot thank you enough for all your support. So many of you have listened to various issues we have had and all of you have been so supportive. 

Best, Scott & Jo