That Phrase: The Twins

 I was planning on doing 2 separate posts about each of the girls but then I thought, no, I should do a joint one first… what to cover though? The purpose of this blog has been to keep family & friends up to date from the beginning- first of our infertility struggles and now as the girls grow. And now I can use it to journal about the girls so one day maybe they can read about themselves.

I had a conversation recently and I reacted to the term “the twins”. I always react with a bitter face to that term and I know the person who said it didn’t mean it in a bad way, I just react that way. We don’t refer to the girls as “the twins”, they are just “the girls”. I'm actually glad that I had that conversation because it got me thinking about that phrase and why I react that way to it, so thank you for that conversation :)

Why in the world is this a big deal for me?

You may remember a facebook status a few months back about a rude lady that confronted me at a shopping center. She made a big deal about wanting to see the twins (her words, not mine) and she kept repeating the phrase “the twins”. Then she asked me if they were real twins or not, and elaborated by saying not through fertility treatments, like it was a bad thing or made them less twinlike.

Unfortunately this is not only person I’ve encountered who has had the audacity to make comments like this. There’s been at least four. In public people always say “Oh twins!” and coo over them, which is fine, I’ve come to expect it and after staring longingly (and probably stalker like) at other people’s babies, it’s nice to be on the receiving end these days!

The phrase “the twins” just reminds me of those negative people and while I realize I shouldn’t let them influence me their comments have made me think about things…

My girls are special. They are beautiful. They are smart (yes, at almost 4 months old I am allowed to say that).  I believe they are the best, most beautiful, most precious babies God ever made. Why? Because they are mine and every mother believes that about their own babies. If they were born as singletons my opinion would not change one bit. Being a twin does not make them more special or less of an individual. They are Ellison and Charlotte- two separate babies that are equally special.

Don’t get me wrong I love that they are twins and I can’t wait to see the bond between them as they grow up! I think being a twin is a very cool thing. It also makes me happy that they don’t have to face things alone. They’ll have each other for the first day of school, for sports, and other sometimes intimidating challenges. But with the good comes the bad, like being known as “the twins” and not Ellie Jo and Charlie.

My point? I don’t want being twins to define them. They are our E&C; Scott and I couldn’t love them more. But the little things Ellie Jo does makes her our little bear and the things Charlie does makes her our Charlie Bugs/Little Birdie. While they are both filled with sass and spunk they have different quirks… that I’ll address in their individual posts! What a good teaser for the next couple of posts :)

So if you refer to them as “the twins” in front of me and I make a sour face don’t take it personally- you didn’t offend me and I’m not mad. I just have an adverse reaction to that phrase!